"I struggled for a long time as the spouse of a sex addict.I could feel myself slipping further into deep depression and despair. I couldn’t find a counselor with any experience in this field in my area. Then, as if God finally decided he’d given me all I could take, I found a therapist who recommended this book. It validates everything I’ve been feeling and has clarified that my husband’s addiction has nothing to do with my worth or attractiveness. I’ve learned strategies to deal with this and protect my health and sanity. I feel like I can actually look forward to feeling “normal” again at some point in the future after more reading and counseling. I owe Marsha Means and Barbara Steffens a huge debt of gratitude. Buy this book. You’ll stop blaming yourself."

" I have been reading everything I could find in hopes of learning how to deal with this nightmare. This is the ONLY book so far that actually helped!! The authors speak from personal experience so their empathy rings true. They minimize the use of buzzwords and psycho-babble so the information is easily taken in and remembered. And most importantly for me, they don't make inane statements like "get help" or "find support"! Instead they go into welcome detail on how to find "safe people" to talk to, and acknowledge that not everyone has access to clinical therapists or groups, nor is everyone helped by the 12-step model. There's a great deal of information on finding support, even lists of interview questions for potential counselors, and possible resources for those who can't afford professional counseling."

" FINALLY a book that focuses on the TRAUMA of being in a relationship with someone who is a sex addict! So many other books - if not all - focus on the partner as a "co-addict" and drags you through the coal of co-addiction and codependency. Why? In no other addiction field do I see this happening - there aren't co-alcoholics, co-narcotics, or co-overeaters. There is some presumption that if you're in a relationship with someone who has sex addiction you are automatically the outlet of their addiction - this is not necessarily the case at all! Finally, we have a book here that tears all that co-addict stuff apart and focuses on what we need - to HEAL FROM THE TRAUMA. Finally a professional understands. Finally some real, actual, applicable advice for how to heal, how to cope, and how to continue life. This is science- and research-based material with a compassionate perspective. I would have liked to see more detailed references to literature and studies. The advice is sound, practice-based, and very helpful. The perspective and compassion is long overdue."